Sudafed seemed like a good idea at the time.

I have been struggling with a clogged, fluid-filled ear for a month now. When dosing up on vitamin C and various antihistamines didn’t work, I went to the doctor, only to be told to continue taking antihistamines and try an overly priced, not-over-the-counter nasal spray. When that still didn’t work, I was put on antibiotics. When the round of antibiotics finished and the problem was still lingering, I was desperate to try anything. Alcohol drops in the ear. When that didn’t work; peroxide. Both only made it worse.

So on Sunday, when I was still struggling with this same annoying problem, I was desperate. I decided to try Sudafed. The real Sudafed, with the crack in it. When I was struggling with a bad cold last year, that stuff was the only stuff that cleared me up and let me breathe. I thought it might help dry up the fluid in my ear.

Unfortunately, despite the non-drowsy label, that stuff will knock me on my butt. Doubly unfortunately, the crack makes my heart race and refuses to let me sleep, no matter how exhausted I may feel. Insomnia in pill form. Perfect.

So there I sat yesterday, completely useless and absolutely dead. When my racing heart refused to let me fall asleep, I gave up and collapsed on the couch, watching Lifetime movies simply because I lacked the energy to reach for the remote and find anything better. I longed to read or blog or do something productive, but I literally felt completely incapacitated. The mere act of lifting my arm was too much to bear. So a worthless lump I became.

I decided that absolutely exhausted and dead feeling was not worth it and opted not to take a second dose today. Although still water logged in the ear, I am much more coherent today.

Sometimes I feel like I have that dead feeling about life. It takes all my energy to just make it through the day to day actions. I’m just sluggishly going through the motions, and feeling like I’m getting the life sucked out of me as I go. Not that I have a bad life. I love my life. But sometimes those day to day to day to day things that become monotony become too much. I wonder where the passion went in my life. I long to pursue dreams and emerge re-energized rather than sucked dry.

Which is why I’m so excited about this book.

I can’t remember the last time a book was more well-timed in my life. It is exactly where I am at right now. (If you’re curious to what the book’s about, click on the pic and read the link.) And from what I’ve read, it’s where a lot of people are at right now. I can’t wait to dig into it.

(And for those curious, I do have another doctor’s appointment this week so I can hopefully get this ear issue sorted out…)