Fireproof? Maybe a wet blanket…

Written by drew on June 9th, 2009

I’ve always for a long time had a principle that in order to criticize something, you have to have real knowledge of it. For example, how dumb do the people who boycott movies, without having seen said movie, look marching around holding signs? Politicians who give speeches in congress about gangsta rap after reading a transcript of one verse of a song to me are total dweebs. Well, Jamie and I have been asked by church people several times, “Have you seen Fireproof yet? It’ll change your life!” After hearing about how bad Left Behind was, I wasn’t in a hurry to see Kirk Cameron ruin another movie. (Disclaimer: I haven’t yet seen Left Behind, so I won’t rag on it too much.) Well, after being asked about 30 times if we’d seen the movie yet, I relented and put it in my Netflix queue. For awhile it was easy to say, “Why no! I haven’t seen it yet. But I do have it in my Netflix queue.” This bought me some time, lots of time. I had about 80 movies ahead of it, so I figured I had a decent chance of Jesus coming back to Earth before I actually had to watch it. With my luck, it would be playing on the video monitors in heaven’s huge lobby on the way to have that chat with St. Peter. Well, after enough time, Fireproof came in the mail and it was time. 

I’m so glad Jamie and I watched it at home alone instead of in a group at a church function. One, it made it easier to fast-forward through the lame parts. I could just turn on the closed captions and set the dvd player to 1.6x and cut down on the pain. Second, it was almost like Mystery Science Theater 3000 with Jamie and I adding our own dialog to the movie. Since the dialog was totally sanitized, I had to add the required expletives during the fight scenes, after which Jamie would slap me. I think we would have been asked to leave by a bible study group if we had watched it with them.

One thing I want to make clear right away. The Love Dare sounds like a great book. All the things that he was doing in the movie to win back his wife, on the surface, sound like awesome advice. Even though the dialog was a bit cheesy, the fact that Kirk’s dad was there for him and gave him good advice besides “just dump her” was really great to see. 

But I think the movie did a poor job of capturing reality. The situations didn’t feel realistic for the most part. In the real world, his wife would have been screwing the doctor at work for months before deciding to leave. From my experience, Kirk’s battle with internet porn would have lasted maybe 10,000 times longer than the minute and a half we see on screen. Sexy stud doctor at work might have said something like, “Well, if your wife wants you, then fine. But right now, she choose to get some hot lovin’ from me because you can’t handle business, loser! And I’m gonna keep on tappin’ that sweet a$$ until she decides to leave.” 

One last thing. The Love Dare advised him not to say anything bad about his wife. Well, at some point that has to stop. Otherwise he’ll turn into a total codependent and build resentment after resentment about how his wife is behaving. Marriages aren’t fixed in 43 days. It takes counseling and time to restart and rebuild.

But if the movie did do one thing it’s instill hope. Most people who are having problems in their marriages seek divorce because nothing else they’ve tried seems to work. The are at the end of their rope and don’t know what to do. The thought of a fresh start is very appealing and helps ease the pain of living this dead life. The good thing is that part is true, at least. Anything broken in a marriage can be fixed. It takes some new knowledge and a lot of patience, but marriage is not hopeless. If both people are willing it can be done, and the movie shows what to do when one or both aren’t willing yet. I’m just not so sure that the general public would be swayed by this movie to keep trying. But since the divorce rate from Christians and church-going people is close to the same as the general public, the movie isn’t a waste.

This could have been a great movie. As it was, we just survived watching it. The church that has been producing these movies has a great idea going. But if they would get a real scribe to write them, I think they’d get farther in the marketplace. It seemed like the dialog was the product of a worship planning meeting. Ten to fifteen people sit around a conference table and butcher every creative idea until it’s the least common denominator of either offense or controversy. I hope they keep doing these movies, and gain the confidence to stretch a little and deliver a more realistic product.


 

Redneck Date

Written by jamie on May 27th, 2009

This past weekend, Drew and I had a date. We started out with a cup of coffee and some journaling, then a quick trip to the library to get some library cards (neither of us had one, and Drew wanted it to be able to access the library’s internet database at home or something.) Then came the fun part of the date. We were off to Pick-n-Pull, a self serve junk yard. I had never been to a junkyard before, and was brimming with curiosity.

Drew had some car parts he was looking for. He’s been trying to fix something on his car, and we also have a dead car sitting in our front yard that’s just waiting to be fixed up. We arrived at the Pick-n-Pull and walked up to the counter to talk with the grease covered man behind the counter. Drew told him make and model for the parts we were looking for, and he looked it up in the computer. He found what we were looking for and gave us a map and a printout of his findings. “Row 132,” (or somewhere abouts there) he announced and then asked for our $2 entry fee. We even had to sign in. And get our hand stamped. I felt like I was at an amusement park.

Then we finally walked through the doors, out into the sunshine and saw row after row of cars. Dead cars. Up on blocks, long forgotten and left to rust. We watched part of the movie Cars later that weekend, and it’s good that I didn’t see it before walking through those doors. I might have shed a tear for those poor vehicles.

We walked through row after row of beaten, crushed and dented clunkers. We found the red Ford Escape we were looking for. Drew was looking for a part in the rear hatch. This Escape had the back end completely crunched in. Drew said, “Well, that’s not gonna work.” We walked around it, taking it all in, and fishing out a cargo net that we thought might be of use. Drew peeked in the passenger side window and found a plastic trash can filled with beer cans. Laughing, he commented, “I wonder if that has anything to do with why this car looks this way.”

Realizing there was no way to get the part we needed out of that heap, we kept walking and found car #2. This was a bit more productive. We were looking for a right front turn signal, and this car had one intact. Drew pulled out his tool kit, found a screwdriver, and pulled that thing out. They weren’t kidding about the whole pick-n-pull thing.

While he was working on pulling that thing out, I walked down the row of abandoned vehicles. It was kind of sad, and made me wonder about what they might have been like in their prime. It also made me think of my first car and how it had been totaled and towed off to a junkyard. I wanted to run back inside and ask them if they had any ’89 blue Ford Tempos. If they asked what part I needed, I’d reply, “Oh, I’m just visiting.”

We wrapped up our visit and walked back inside. Of course you don’t just get to walk out with the junk er, I mean treasures you just found. They charged us a bit more than I expected for the signal, but they did let us take the cargo net for free. Woo hoo! Then we got in trouble cause they saw the camera that we had taken in. Apparently we weren’t allowed to take pictures. Oops.

After we pulled out of the Pick-n-Pull, we decided to drop by the Flea Market, cause it was close and we figured we should continue our redneck date. Drew got a Bud Light and two soft pretzels and we strolled together amongst the trinkets and trifles. The only things we bought were some baby bananas. (They remind me of Uganda, and I always get real excited when I see them.) Drew stopped and checked computer parts and started to get that glimmer in his eyes a couple of times, but luckily we made it out without anything that would clutter our house further.  He got extremely excited about the mini keyboard that had a dj record scratcher thing. It was something he always wanted as a kid, and he was quite tempted to get it.

With that, we ended our date, and headed home, only to discover that the turn signal was too big for our junker of a car. Drew said they’ll exchange, so it looks like we’ve got another redneck date in our future.

 

Yeah, I’m still alive

Written by drew on May 23rd, 2009

So the kocur.net blog looks like it has been taken over by the newest member of the Kocur clan. It’s been a weird few months and it seems like I just haven’t made time to sit down and write anything meaningful. I think a side effect of being married has been that when I have things come up in my life that normally I would have blogged about, now I talk to Jamie about before bedtime and then that’s the end of it. So, I haven’t needed the therapeutic aspects of this as much. Poor Jamie, though, hahahahh. I guess she’s needed it quite a bit!

Today we made some time to go to a coffee shop and chill for a bit. I brought the laptop and balanced my checkbook and paid bills. Jamie is enjoying some sort of designer coffee and writing like mad in her journal. Since I have some time, I might as well write something. 

Lately things have been in a bit of flux. The state budget process has been nerve-racking, to say the least. It looks like most of my department will still have jobs on July 1st, but it is going to look very different around there. Some other departments will be closed or merged. Part-time employees may be right-sized downsized laid-off fired. Luckily university employees are exempt from the 2% tax pay cut. But things for our family are doing well. Jamie got a better job in January and has been picking up more music students. My side work was slow for a month or so but has picked up and we are starting to pay down debt. We both want to buy a house but our first focus is becoming debt-free. Unfortunately deciding to be debt-free doesn’t make it so. It will take some time, but we’ll be there eventually. We’re both thankful to have jobs in this economy and a roof over our heads, even if that roof belongs to our landlord. 

Later I need to write a bit about our church visits. Jamie has written some about them already, but as we’ve taken this time to rest, I’ve had some thoughts about what we’ve been learning. Stay tuned.

 

A happy list

Written by jamie on May 22nd, 2009

Things that make me happy…

The sound of coffee percolating in the morning.

A hot shower.

Blasting music and singing along.

A few minutes to breathe in the morning.

Drinking the coffee that was just brewing minutes before.

Looking around my cozy (albeit cluttered) duplex and knowing it’s my home.

The sound of rain falling (although knowing I have to go out in it doesn’t make me happy).

A second cup of coffee.

Knowing that I’ve been married to an amazing man for almost a year.

Getting to spend a three day weekend with that man.

Knowing that I’m getting a bit better at guitar, even though I have a LOOOONG way to go.

Scrapbooking. That is, as soon as I get my butt motivated to start.

Scratching things off a to do list, which I hope to do this weekend.

Photography.

A good night’s sleep.