A little over a month ago, I wrote a blog about how I was setting a goal to write three blogs a week. I kept up with it for several weeks, and found the act of writing and constructing a concise blog entry therapeutic. Over the last couple weeks, I haven’t quite kept up with three blogs. I started averaging about two a week, and was kind of feeling guilty for not keeping up with my goal. I’ve been struggling to keep up. Lack of time (or proper management of it) and inspiration have caused me to become a bit lazy in my blog construction.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog that went over my 600 word limit that Drew had suggested to me. He teased me, saying that it wouldn’t count for two, and as my “editor”, he was waiting for two more blogs that week. I laughed, but don’t think I was able to construct any more blogs that week.

When I started with the blog goal, it seemed that inspiration came from everywhere. I had no problems coming up with good ideas. Then, inspiration was harder to come by. I have no idea how full time writers do it. I can write well when the inspiration is there, and when there’s a good story, but I don’t think I could come up with a good story everyday. I’m impressed by columnists and novelists and daily bloggers, who can find inspiration in everything. As I’ve tried to come up with new ideas, they feel forced, hokey, and dull. Rather than push through that and see if anything good might actually emerge, I usually choose the lazy way out and don’t write anything.

Rather than beat myself up over falling short of my goal, I’m choosing to instead focus on the fact that I haven’t given up altogether. I still make an attempt, and even if it’s only one blog a week, I’m still writing. Although I don’t want to be lazy about it, I also realize that life happens and that I am not a full time writer, so daily (quality) writing is probably an unachievable goal at this point in my life.

Another thing I am choosing to focus on and relish victory in, is the fact that I am journaling more again. This used to be a favorite past time of mine, and something I did daily. I fell out of it for awhile, and missed it, but couldn’t seem to get myself to put pen to paper. In recent months, I have managed to pick it back up, and my pretty little spiral bound journal has seen a lot more use. Though this writing is not something I share with the outside world, it brings great comfort to me to get words, thoughts, emotions, and feelings out of my head. One of my favorite songs, entitled Breathe, written and sung by Anna Nalick, has a line that states:

2 AM and I’m still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to.

Any songwriter or writer of any kind can relate to that feeling of a huge wave of relief washing over them as they successfully get the gunk out of their head and into some sort of order on paper.

So, whether or not I may or may not achieve that three blog goal, I will continue to write.