Drew and I have a few rituals that we have created within our marriage. One of my favorites is lying in bed at the end of the day and talking. We’ll decompress and talk through our day, often laughing out loud. Sometimes the laughter erupts into a wrestling match. Other times, we lay quietly in the dark, holding hands, and talk through deeper issues. Last night we had one of those deeper conversations.

I have struggled lately with my “professional” place in life. I have a steady job, with good benefits. I am thankful for this. Paid vacation is a new novelty for me. Although I enjoy my job and am thankful for it, I don’t love it. I am able to use my music degree in many aspects of the job, but I often wonder if I’ll spend the rest of my life playing shuffleboard. While games and activities can be fun, it’s not always fulfilling. Helping seniors is, and I try to keep my focus on that. It’s easy to lose that focus though.

As great as my job benefits are, the pay is not. I knew when I decided on a music degree that that would be the story of my life. I told God I was okay with that. I am a passionate person, and believe in following your passion. I have no problem living within my meager means. However, living within those means would be a lot more appealing if I LOVED my job. When you’re only okay with your job, it becomes a wee more frustrating.

It seems that every job turns into: I like it, but I wouldn’t want to do it for the rest of my life. Which leaves the question, what DO I want to do with the rest of my life? It’s a question that I struggle with daily. A few weeks ago, over a girl’s chocolate fondue and champagne night, I found I’m not the only one to struggle with this. One friend stated that she had heard that young professionals today aren’t looking for a career, but rather a series of experiences. That does sound true. I often feel restless, especially after spending three years on the road with the African Children’s Choir. Now that I’m in more of a 9 to 5 situation, it sometimes scares me to think, “Maybe this is all that’s left…”

I shared all this with Drew last night, and he listened attentively like the wonderful husband that he is. He asked me the question, “If you could do anything, what would you do?” My answer to this is usually, “I’d love to sing, to perform. But I don’t think I’d want the lifestyle that goes with that.” Although I do intend to continue singing, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make a living out of it.

So then Drew asked, “What about your writing? You really enjoy that. Maybe you should pursue that more…” I hemmed and hawed a bit. Sure, writing’s great. But without a book deal, can you really make a living? I don’t know where to start!

He then threw out the challenge: write at least three blogs a week. At least 500 words, and no more than 600. The latter will be harder for me. If my writing is consistent in anything, it’s my longwinded-ness.

I’m accepting the challenge. I don’t know what will come out of it, but I know it will give me a chance to be creative and to share a bit of writing with my corner of the world.

Thanks for joining me.