Sometimes I wonder if God has forgotten about me. I mean, I KNOW He hasn’t, but when I get in one of my little pity party moments and become so totally self absorbed, the fleeting thought crosses my mind. Then I remind myself of how big God is and how much He loves me and dismiss the fleeting thought. Then I just become frustrated that God is not working at the pace that I would like Him to. I mean, c’mon. I’ve got plans, I’ve got dreams, I’ve got ideas. Let’s get this moving!

I’ve been in one of those impatient moods lately. I feel as if there is some part of my life that isn’t totally fulfilled, that there are some steps that need to be taken to fulfill them. There are some steps I need to take to fulfill them. Rather than being patient and waiting on God, I try to move forward, inevitably to fall on my face.

I was in one of those moods yesterday, impatiently frustrated at waiting on God’s timing and determined to do something about it. Then I read this.

Now, I know that often Christians will contort some message to fit their life and situation exactly. And sometimes God really does use something to speak directly to your heart. Yesterday, I think it was the latter.

There is a fine line between waiting on God and doing my part. Waiting does not mean parking myself on the couch and not moving until I get the next word from God. Waiting means going through my daily life in humble obedience. It means prayerfully considering my next move. It means not getting all bent out of shape when what seems my next best move is not God’s next best.

When I was wrapping up my time with the African Children’s Choir, I felt strongly called to move to Africa to continue working with the organization. I prayed about it, and God dropped an opportunity in my lap. Or so it seemed. I was given a job offer to come to South Africa to help develop the Choir’s musical program there. I was beyond excited. It was perfect. I went home for a rest and vacation, and awaited the okay to come to South Africa.

Things kept getting pushed back. What was once March turned into August, then October, and so on. I did have a chance to return to Africa for a brief time, and took a couple weeks in South Africa to check things out. People cautioned me about the job offer. There was simply no work. When I was there, there was no peace. I could not see myself there. I tried desperately to make it work in my brain and the pieces just would not fit. I was crushed. This thing that I felt so sure that God had called me to was now falling apart. It was hard to know what to do with it.

What I did was go home. I took some more time to rest. I got a part time job. I kept pushing through life. I grieved the loss of South Africa. I healed.

Then I got engaged. It was not what I was expecting, nor where I thought I would be, but boy, was I excited.

I’m trying to remember that today. Waiting and trusting is hard, but I know that God has not forgotten me.