Christmas was extra special for me this year, because it was my first Christmas as a married woman. Many people came to Drew and I in the days leading to Christmas with cute little smiles on their faces and patted us on the back, saying in sing-songy voices, “Enjoy your first Christmas together!” Drew would always respond, “It’s not our first Christmas. We were together last Christmas.” So we decided it was our first “legal” Christmas together.

We spent Christmas morning lazily; sleeping in and eagerly opening our gifts to each other, and eating Cinnabon muffins. It was so nice. Then we had to run some errands (so sad on Christmas Day, but we needed to pick up our rental car that would take us to North Carolina the next day). After that we visited my family and exchanged gifts with them (my dad seemed excited about the laser putter we found for him) and then it was on to the Luger’s for dinner and another gift exchange. At the end of the day, it was great to return home, with my husband.

The day after Christmas, we started the LOOONG trek to North Carolina to visit Drew’s family. There, we had Christmas part 2. It was nice to spend some time with my new in laws, and I already feel so much a part of the family. Thanks Kocurs, for adopting me with open arms. You guys are awesome. I especially enjoyed the girl time I had with my new mom-in-law and sis-in-law. We went scrapbook shopping and then painted some figurines. My hand was cramped by the time I was done. I was glad to get to know my new sis better, as the only other time I had seen her was the wedding. (If YOU’D like to get to know her better, check out her blog.)

Now, Drew and I are back home trying to settle back in and recover from the holidays. On New Year’s Eve, we went down to St. Mark’s Lighthouse to revisit “the scene of the crime.” (He proposed there last New Year’s Eve.) Then we spent a quiet evening at home watching TV and waiting for midnight. Luckily, USA had a 24 hour marathon of Elf, so we watched that. That movie makes me happy. We switched to the New Year’s celebration a minute too late and missed the ball drop. Apparently we need to check our clocks. A quick smooch (though not technically at midnight…), and then it was time for bed. I guess we’re officially old and married.

So far, 2009 has been filled with cleaning. Drew and I are trying to make sense of the mess in our home, and I think we’re making headway. So with that, back to laundry.

I’m typing this by the light of the Christmas tree: by the light of our 7 foot, REAL pine with the awesome smell that hits you when you walk in the door FREE tree. (Thanks Jim, for an AWESOME wedding present!) It’s my first Christmas as a married woman. Drew will argue that it’s not our first Christmas together, since we were technically together last year. But even he can’t argue that it definitely is special that this is the first Christmas of the rest of our lives, as cheesy as that sounds. This is the year where we blend traditions and try not to argue over how to decorate. Just because my family did it this way for all these years does not necessarily mean that it should be done that way for us.

I’ve found that I’ve had to let go of a lot of preconceived notions about celebrating Christmas with my husband. I had a lot of years to plan my life (in my head) with my future husband (whoever he was going to be), and while some of it is proving way better than I expected, there are many ways that are not at all as I expected (some good, some… well… ). Since I love Christmas so much, I guess I expected a Santa hat wearing husband who would be singing along with Karen Carpenter and hanging candy canes on the tree, all while drinking egg nog and gazing lovingly in my eyes. I got the egg nog and the loving gaze part right at least.

Those who know Drew know that he wouldn’t be caught dead in a Santa hat (at least not in front of people) and Karen Carpenter is not quite his style of music (such a shame cause the Carpenter’s Christmas album is such a classic…). And not that that’s bad, or even disappointing (okay, maybe I am bummed that he won’t sing along to Karen with me) but it’s just different. I expected more “excitement” as far as Christmas goes. I suppose I expected the same exact reactions that I have.

So as always in this whole newlywed thing, I’m learning. And I’m mostly learning to let go. I need to let go of all those dreams and visions that I concocted in my head. All those pre conceived notions simply get in the way of the joy that could really be there if I simply let it. Drew is not me, and that’s a good thing. He forces me to see the world in a different light. I hope I do the same for him. We have different ways of expressing ourselves and I’m finding we also have different ways to celebrate the holidays. I learned that the Christmas tree is not so important to him. He said something to me that has stuck in my brain, “It’s just a thing. The things aren’t important to me. Spending time with friends and family over Christmas is what’s important to me.” (He was quick to add that he could see the tree was important to me, and he was okay with that). So true, and it did make me think. The scent of the tree hitting me every time I come home still makes me smile, but I was glad for the very true reminder. I’m glad that he sees things differently.

So as I sit here and stare at our big, beautiful tree, intermixed with our different ornaments (from Star Wars to Garfield) it reminds me of our Christmas together. Such an odd assortment that seemingly don’t fit together, but when put in the right place, it’s just perfect (the pretty flashing lights help too).