I’m typing this by the light of the Christmas tree: by the light of our 7 foot, REAL pine with the awesome smell that hits you when you walk in the door FREE tree. (Thanks Jim, for an AWESOME wedding present!) It’s my first Christmas as a married woman. Drew will argue that it’s not our first Christmas together, since we were technically together last year. But even he can’t argue that it definitely is special that this is the first Christmas of the rest of our lives, as cheesy as that sounds. This is the year where we blend traditions and try not to argue over how to decorate. Just because my family did it this way for all these years does not necessarily mean that it should be done that way for us.

I’ve found that I’ve had to let go of a lot of preconceived notions about celebrating Christmas with my husband. I had a lot of years to plan my life (in my head) with my future husband (whoever he was going to be), and while some of it is proving way better than I expected, there are many ways that are not at all as I expected (some good, some… well… ). Since I love Christmas so much, I guess I expected a Santa hat wearing husband who would be singing along with Karen Carpenter and hanging candy canes on the tree, all while drinking egg nog and gazing lovingly in my eyes. I got the egg nog and the loving gaze part right at least.

Those who know Drew know that he wouldn’t be caught dead in a Santa hat (at least not in front of people) and Karen Carpenter is not quite his style of music (such a shame cause the Carpenter’s Christmas album is such a classic…). And not that that’s bad, or even disappointing (okay, maybe I am bummed that he won’t sing along to Karen with me) but it’s just different. I expected more “excitement” as far as Christmas goes. I suppose I expected the same exact reactions that I have.

So as always in this whole newlywed thing, I’m learning. And I’m mostly learning to let go. I need to let go of all those dreams and visions that I concocted in my head. All those pre conceived notions simply get in the way of the joy that could really be there if I simply let it. Drew is not me, and that’s a good thing. He forces me to see the world in a different light. I hope I do the same for him. We have different ways of expressing ourselves and I’m finding we also have different ways to celebrate the holidays. I learned that the Christmas tree is not so important to him. He said something to me that has stuck in my brain, “It’s just a thing. The things aren’t important to me. Spending time with friends and family over Christmas is what’s important to me.” (He was quick to add that he could see the tree was important to me, and he was okay with that). So true, and it did make me think. The scent of the tree hitting me every time I come home still makes me smile, but I was glad for the very true reminder. I’m glad that he sees things differently.

So as I sit here and stare at our big, beautiful tree, intermixed with our different ornaments (from Star Wars to Garfield) it reminds me of our Christmas together. Such an odd assortment that seemingly don’t fit together, but when put in the right place, it’s just perfect (the pretty flashing lights help too).