Exciting faith life

Written by jamie on January 25th, 2011

This past Sunday, our church had a guest speaker that Drew and I were quite excited about. He is a young, 20 something, radical follower of Jesus. He comes from our church, is a product of the youth group, and although we didn’t know him extremely well, we both considered him a friend. We also knew he would be sharing some uncomfortable, real, raw stuff, and we were eager to hear it. We’re both growing weary of the fluffy Christianity that most churches seem to present.

James Barnett is a unique Christian. After receiving a word from a “prophetess,” he decided to make a radical life change. He quit his job, sold all his possessions, bought a van, and now lives out on the street among the homeless. He founded an organization called Clothe Your Neighbor as Yourself. If you buy an article of clothing, he in turn will clothe someone in need. He has story after story, and shared one on Sunday where he thought for sure he was about to get jumped, and instead was welcomed and shown love and acceptance by his new homeless friends.

James is the first to admit that this type of decision and radical lifestyle change is not for everyone. But he did encourage us to not just admire Jesus, but really live for Him and like Him. He challenges Christians to open up their guest rooms for the homeless. He really helps to put all of those little “issues” in our lives into perspective. I try to remember that no matter what might be going wrong in my life, I have a warm bed to sleep in and a roof over my head.

Besides being convicted and inspired, I found some other emotions rise to the surface. I found myself jealous that he was able to live out his faith life in such an exciting, revolutionary way. Then I reminded myself that it probably wasn’t so glamorous when he was out in the pouring rain, handing out ponchos to those stuck in the extreme weather.

Last night, a friend posted pictures from her trip to Uganda on Facebook. She and her husband were fellow chaperones while I was on tour with the African Children’s Choir. She tagged me in all the photos of “my” children. It was, as always, a bittersweet moment. I love to see how much they’ve grown (and boy, have they) but it also saddens me because it’s a reminder of that exciting life I used to live, with these beautiful kids that I have no idea when I’ll ever hug again. It brings back memories of concerts with energetic dance, host families with lumpy sofa beds, meeting celebrities, and teaching devotions with 25 eager little African bodies all gathered around me, eyes glued to me.

It was a hectic life, always on the move, always somewhere new, always a new face. It was exciting. But it was also exhausting. It didn’t seem so great when I was answering the same question for the 15th time that week or was cleaning vomit off the bus floor while driving through swervy mountain roads. Like everything in life, it had it’s pros and cons.

When I finished up my tour and arrived back at home, I relished in staying in one place and having some continuity in my days. I am still thankful for the constant in my days. I am more settled into my job and my days. It’s nice to have a routine.

But I do miss the exciting life I used to have. I sometimes wonder if God is calling me to live this constant life for the rest of my days. He does not call us all to lead the Israelites out of Egypt or to sell all our possessions. He wants constant Christians, who are willing to live out His commands in our everyday, boring life.

Am I ready for that? Am I ready for a boring life? I hope that I may have some more “exciting” parts to my faith life, but until then I need to be faithful in the everyday. I can’t say I’m always excited about that prospect, but I am always learning.

 

Journals

Written by jamie on January 20th, 2011

Inspired to write some type of memoir, I asked my big strong hubby to cart my large, heavy tote filled with all my journals through the years from the garage to our music room. I’ve been wanting to re-read through them and hopefully spark some memories that are worth recounting.

Every time I open this tote, I am usually surprised at how much is in there. I have pretty journals with flowery print, boring spiral notebooks, and Bible studies from years ago. There are my everyday here is what happened in my life journals, prayer journals, notebooks with song ideas sprawled in them, and even little scraps of paper that have snippets of something I deemed worthy of preserving. Sometimes I wonder if holding onto these is practical. It does take up lots of space, and when I’m gone, will anyone really want to read them? But then my journals make the list of the three things I would grab if my house were on fire. These are special to me. They’re filled with memories that have slipped from my subconscious. They show how I’ve changed and matured through the years. Above all, the physical act of putting pen to paper is so therapeutic to me that I can’t see giving up on journaling. So I will continue to write, and continue to fill totes.

When I began rifling through the tote, I figured chronologically might be the best way to start. I found the diary I kept in elementary school, complete with a lock that I don’t think I have the key for anymore. I guess I’ll have to break in. For now, I’ll skip it and come back to it later.

The next journals I had were from high school. I could only bring myself to read snippets from them. I have a low tolerance for teenagers and can only put up with so much drama and self absorption. Apparently my teenage self isn’t exempt. I cringed at the shallowness in some of the entries. Filled with self pity and oh woe is me mentalities, I rolled my eyes at half the entries. I put them down and went onto the next one; my college journals. I know I’ll need to read thru ALL of my high school journals soon, but we’ll just take it a little at a time.

It’s interesting to read thoughts of a former me. There’s a country song entitled “Letter to Me.” It talks of writing a letter to himself at age 17, shedding some light on his breakup and other teenage dramas. He’s pretty gentle and understanding in the song, but I think if I could write a letter to 17 year old me, I’d be shaking me and yelling, “GET OVER YOURSELF!” But I suppose I should be gentle. I was young, lacking life experience, and still learning. Heck, I still am.

As I wrote a bit in my journal last night before bed, I found myself wondering what I’ll be thinking when I read this journal ten years from now. I wonder if I’ll be shaking my head and saying, “Oh, how naive she was…”

 

What the heck?

Written by jamie on January 13th, 2011

I sometimes wonder what my mind and my body are doing. I know everyone has some weird dreams, but sometimes mine just confuse me. Never remembering details of dreams, I was surprised to wake up this morning and still have lingering details of one dream still shaking around in my head. I sat down and wrote it out before I forgot it.

I was walking outside in my hometown when all of a sudden it started to snow. It started out like it does when we do get snow; little flakes that disappear almost before you can see them. With cupped hands, I started to collect some of the flakes. Then I noticed it was collecting around my feet. Pretty soon there was an inch or more on the ground. Full of excitement, I began trying to make snowballs. They were too dry to really stick and fell apart in my hands. I thanked God for the fluffy flakes of white snow all around me. I was smiling, laughing, and playing. The snowballs began to stick. I began to make some sort of large soccer goal to throw my snowballs at. Someone showed up and helped me make the goal. He stood in the goal like a soccer goalie while I threw snowballs toward him. What fun!

Then, out of nowhere, I plunged through ice into water and was sucked down and down and down. I couldn’t swim. I was powerless. I could hear my screams echoing in my head as I groggily forced myself awake.

What the heck? Where did my winter wonderland go? I was having so much fun and then THAT? Where did my brain come up with that? Any dream analysts out there?

 

Christmas over… officially

Written by jamie on January 10th, 2011

Since I am such a Christmas-aholic, taking down Christmas is one of my least favorite things to do. Growing up, New Year’s Day was my most disliked day of the year, because it was the day that everything Christmas was taken down, packed up, and put away. I’d mope around all day, because the house looked so barren.

When I became an adult, with a house of my own, I decided I wanted to keep my Christmas tree up until Epiphany. Drew agreed, knowing that sitting by the lit up Christmas tree made me so happy.

Now, even I will agree that those icicle lights hanging off my neighbor’s house in February is just plain tacky. I’m a little ashamed of the year that Drew and I left the tree up until February. When we were trying to decide whether to take it down or simply hang little hearts on it, I knew it was time. We didn’t leave it there intentionally. We simply got consumed by life and had no time to get the thing down. Good thing it was a fake tree. Since then, I’ve been determined to get the decorations down as close to Epiphany as possible.

I had every intention of getting the tree down this weekend. I swear. On Saturday, I was ready to break out the bins and the broom and get the living room tidied up. But then Drew found a car in Valdosta that was exactly what we were looking for (we’ve been looking to replace my car, as it’s been breaking apart little by little and I’m convinced it will implode at any moment). We decided to take a drive, loved the car, and ended up buying it. Yay for us, but that made for a late night, and by the time we got home, I didn’t have any energy to tackle the tree.

Sunday, we spent all day at a friend’s house for her “coming out” party. She is bravely tackling cancer, and undergoing chemo. When her hair began to fall out, she decided it was time to shave it all off. We all gathered and watched as she sat in the barber’s chair and let all her hair be shaved off with a huge smile on her face. We cheered her on, other friend’s shaved their heads in honor of her, and we laughed at the mohawks and other fun hairstyles that were created. We tried on wigs and hats and even blew off fireworks. Great day, but again, we didn’t get home until late.

To find this.

Our tree bit the dust. Drew almost tripped over it as we came in the door, commenting, “What the hell…” I looked at him and said, “We don’t even have a cat.”

Upon further investigation we discovered one of the snap on legs had simply snapped off. It decided it was done with it’s service for the year. And although it was late and I was tired, I set to taking the ornaments off and un-decorating the tree. Drew had to hold it up so I could get the lights off. Then he chucked it out the front door, proclaiming, “Piece of crap!”

Sadly, there was one casualty.

One of my treasured, handmade, porcelain ornaments from my Aunt Char was beheaded. This one is from 1985 and has hung on every tree since then. Luckily, it was a clean break, and I think with a little super glue, she’ll be good as new. I breathed a sigh of relief to see that the other porcelain ornaments had been hung on the side opposite of the fall, and were thus cushioned by fake pine tree limbs.

Luke Skywalker did fall out of his legs, but it appears that he slides right back in his boots. Drew was relieved.

So Christmas is officially packed up and put away… aside from the odds and ends I keep finding. I have a feeling I’ll be repacking the totes to make everything fit this weekend.

After the “trauma” from last night, I did get a good laugh last night as I revisited with these guys.