Feeling much better

Written by jamie on July 1st, 2011

For those that may have been concerned, I am feeling much better now. I guess my hormones decided to go back into hiding for now, and I feel human again. No more despondency and pitifulness. Phew. Armed with a cup of coffee on a Friday morning and heading into a three day weekend, it’s hard to see how I couldn’t be feeling better though. We’ll see how I am on Tuesday morning.

I am trying to get myself back into writing mode again. Along with that pitiful mood came a case of writer’s block. Last weekend, I was by myself, as Drew was off for a guy’s weekend/poker game where he won lots of money. I thought that maybe I could snuggle into my wonderful couch and get some writing done, but sadly, no inspiration struck. I know I often have to push through, but it seemed no amount of pushing got me anywhere last weekend. It seemed all I wanted to do was scrapbook and watch movies. I did end up being pretty productive, and got several pages knocked out in my wedding scrapbook.

My goal is to get myself up early again and try to spend about thirty minutes to an hour doing quality writing. By quality, I don’t necessarily mean good, but a good effort. My “memoir” has made some progress, and I’m hoping to keep the momentum going. I shared it with Drew while we were holed away in our mountain retreat, and I was expecting brutal honest feedback (we expect nothing less from each other). All he said was that I was off to a really good start and needed to keep going. He was impressed at the amount of writing I had done and encouraged me to continue writing the memories I had. I know he will offer more brutal editing advice when I get to the editing stage, but he knows I’m still on the get it onto paper mode. So I will continue to write. Or at least try to.

I also was hoping to get some “quality” blogs up over the weekend. My first guest post on Clothe Your Neighbor As Yourself should be up on Monday, and I think there will be a link to this blog from that blog. I might have some increased traffic, and I was thinking I should have something of substance blogged. If not, oh well. This is all me, whether they like it or not.

 

 

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Overwhelmed

Written by jamie on June 28th, 2011

I don’t know why, but I am simply feeling overwhelmed lately. I feel mopey, moody, and hopeless. There are no reasons for this, really. I’m healthy, have an incredible marriage, a beautiful home, and a kitchen full of food. What’s up with the sadness?

I am fairly certain it’s just hormones. My cycle seems to be slightly off whack this month, which is enough to throw any woman into a tizzy. But when you’re a woman in the midst of raging hormones, it’s hardly any consolation. I almost feel guilty after reading my dear friend’s blog post this morning. She’s dealing with some major life changes and hardships, and I’m complaining about my cycle? Get a grip.

And yet, I know even that dear friend struggling with major issues would be sympathetic toward my mood swings. For whatever reason I’m feeling sad, and just because it’s not due to some major issue does not mean it’s trivial. It’s been hard for me to get out of bed this week, and getting to work has been extra strenuous (knowing that I got screwed out of vacation time is also not helping. My company told me I had to use more time than I actually needed to by the end of the month, thus leaving me with basically NO vacation time accrued. Not cool). I have not had much energy for much of anything and feel like I’m just going through the motions.

But I know that this too shall pass. It’s a funk, and they happen now and again. I will finish my coffee (always a mood lifter), take a glorious hot shower, make myself eat breakfast (my appetite always seems to go when I’m in funks), and go to work, doing the best job I can. Tonight I will come home and spend some girl time scrap-booking with a good girlfriend. I tend to want to isolate when I’m in bad moods, and I’m always surprised at how much better I feel when I spend quality time with friends.

I’m even feeling a bit better having written this. Sometimes just sharing the “overwhelmingness” releases some of it’s power. I will not let it consume me, and I will live. Thanks for letting me share.

 

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Marley & Me

Written by jamie on June 27th, 2011

I finally got to see Marley & Me last night, a movie I’ve been wanting to see since I finished the book about a year ago. It was very well done, and followed the book very closely (something I was relieved to see). It made me laugh and left me blubbering at the end, just like the book. The movie was almost as good as the book. The thing that makes the book stand out so is Grogan’s amazing storytelling.

Watching Owen Wilson play the struggling reporter and writer reminded me of reading the book and how well written it was. It also made me miss writing. I’ve slacked in my writing lately, due to various reasons. Partly is work stress, and just being overwhelmed by the day to day life that often consumes me. I think the other part is writer’s block. Some days I simply feel that I have nothing worthwhile to say.

I would like to try and get back to my three blog a week goal. I miss the sense of fulfillment of crafting and completing those blogs. Although I know it will be a struggle, I think it’s a worthwhile struggle. This morning, I’m struggling just writing this blog. I don’t know if it’s hormones or the Monday blahs, but the simple act of putting words to computer screen is kind of taking everything I have.

I’m trying new things to get the words flowing again. Yesterday I played with magnetic poetry again. Didn’t craft any poetry, just sorted the words into parts of speech. Sounds silly, I know, but it’s near impossible to put together anything good with verbs interspersed with adjectives. I didn’t even finish sorting, but doing that for twenty minutes was good. Just looking at the words got my brain moving a bit.

I’m also writing in a new spot today. I’m outside, on my anniversary present (one of them. The other was a leather journal.) I’m sitting outside on one of the chairs that my husband set up, with an empty cup of coffee on the table that he bought to go with the chairs. I seem to be in a rut sitting in my living room, and since it’s not a million degrees outside yet, it seemed like a good idea to take the writing party outside.

So there may not be quality writing coming, but hopefully there will at least be writing coming.

 

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Reasons I love my husband

Written by jamie on June 21st, 2011

1. His unending and ever surprising sense of humor. Even after three years, I still burst out laughing at his jokes.

2. His brutal honesty. I NEVER have to guess what MY man is thinking.

3. His devilish eyes and grin. If he were four, I’d think he was in trouble all the time. What can I say… it’s endearing. 🙂

4. I can tell him anything. And I mean anything. People always say the key to relationships is communication, and I agree. We have very open communication, and it’s why our marriage is so great.

5. Even though we can talk about anything, complete silence is also totally comforting. Just being with him makes me feel safe.

6. I hear “I love you” at least once a day, usually several times. Sometimes it’s simply through a text in the middle of the day. I never have to wonder how he feels about me.

7. He will jump into housework or meal prep without being asked. And he’s a great cook.

8. His smarts. I recently commented to him that I am someday going to ask a question that he will not know the answer to.

9. His sensitivity. Shhh… don’t let that out too much.

10. He’s not afraid to go shopping with me. I’ve ended up with some good outfits from him because he keeps his eyes open when we shop.

Happy Anniversary, babe. I love you lots.

 

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