I spent a leisurely morning at my favorite coffee shop this morning, sipping on a Sumatran coffee with a little too much cream and journaling. At the table right next to me sat the knitting club. I remember them from when I worked there. Every Thursday morning they would walk in, handbags filled with yarn, and pull chairs around a table. They would sit for hours with their close-knit group (haha! Sorry… bad pun) and sip on their nonfat lattes and laugh together. I loved to watch them. Something about women gathering together for a single purpose and growing closer makes me smile.

This morning, I found that I watched with a bit of jealousy. I watched them ooh and aah over their finished products. They passed cute knit purses back and forth, and one carefully folded up a beautiful purple shawl with sparklies on it. I watched and thought, “I wish I knew how to knit.”

It’s not the first time I’ve thought that. I wish I was more crafty. I read some of the other blogs that float around in cyberspace, and so many of the women’s blogs revolve around homeschooling their precious children, keeping their beautiful trendy home looking that way, and somehow squeezing in time to create these beautiful handmade projects. Somedays I want to be that woman. Drew is probably glad I’m not, cause probably all I would figure out how to knit would be scarves. I don’t think he’d be too excited to wear the 274 scarves I’d create.

Often many of these great ideas float into my head of things I could learn to do. Knitting and crocheting, sewing, gardening… and then I realize that I don’t have time in my day for all these activities. I work two jobs, and barely get home in time to get a load of laundry done. The last thing I need is four different unfinished projects sitting in the corner, staring at me and making me feel like a failure.  I don’t want to be like one of those people on Clean House who has 14 different hobbies crammed into an already cluttered room, and when asked the last time they pursued said hobby, they reply, “Oh, maybe three years ago, but next Tuesday is the day I pick it back up!” I have current interests that I need to pursue more, like photography and writing and songwriting, rather than trying to pick up new ones.

These desires to be crafty are tied in closely to my desire to be the perfect housewife. Before I was married, I had visions of being the Better Homes and Gardens type wife. Clean house with sparkling bathrooms and kitchen, creative meals planned for each evening, and fun projects nearing completion sitting atop the sewing machine. Now, in my head I knew this wasn’t the reality awaiting me, but there was a glimmer inside that could still hope. Luckily, this is not the expectation of my husband. He is not expecting Martha Stewart, and is more than happy to pitch in with housework. That takes away the pressure, but sometimes the desire remains.

Will I never learn to knit? I wouldn’t say that. I hope someday to learn, but it probably won’t be in this current season. I am curious and like to learn new things, so someday I might pursue it. But for now, I will try to be content in the projects that currently await me, like boxes of photos waiting to be scrap-booked, and blogs awaiting creation.