I hate when God answers a prayer not like I had planned out for Him to.

I’ve been praying for quite some time for help to get better at guitar. Sure, I wasn’t practicing as much as I should, but I was trying. I guess my prayer was for OPPORTUNITIES to improve in guitar. One can only get so far by strumming alone on your living room floor. I prayed for opportunities, but I think in my mind I was really expecting to simply wake up one day and be able to do barre chords easily, without any effort. I know it doesn’t work that way, but one can always hope.

So God did answer my prayer, in different ways. For awhile I played in my praise band, among very talented players that I could hide in between and build up some confidence. That was great for awhile, until that season ended. Then I worried that I would be back to strumming on my living room floor, when God gave me a great job opportunity at a retirement community. In this job, I do some sing-alongs. Seemed like a great opportunity, until the time came to actually learn the 100+ songs that I didn’t know; on guitar AND vocally. Yikes. Talk about overwhelming. My first sing-along was long, awkward, and pretty bad. I kept looking at the clock, begging the minute hand to move faster. The second one went way better, with more residents participating and singing loud to cover up any mistakes I made. The third and fourth sing-alongs have been okay. I’ve made it through, but had to endure moments that remind me of my painfully limited musicality. Luckily, my residents are patient and full of grace toward me, and always head out the door telling me how much fun it was and how good a job I’m doing.

So yesterday marked my fourth sing-along, and I walked out the door of my job with painful indentations on my left hand fingers. I’m trying hard to build up my callouses, but my dainty, girly fingers just can’t take the heat some days. I went home and scarfed down dinner and then went with Drew to a band rehearsal. We had agreed to play in worship at our church Friday night, and it was time to practice. Drew pulled out and dusted off his bass, and I pulled out my not so dusty guitar (only cause I have three guitar lessons throughout the week, not because of my intense practice schedule). We set up, and I stressed big time as I looked at the music. It was all in like F# and other ridiculous keys. I could play like one chord per song. I think I began sinking into the floor even before rehearsal began. I told myself to calm down and reminded myself of the power of the capo, and then realized that figuring out where to PUT the darn thing was a bit harder than I anticipated. I thought I knew what I was doing, but then I got all confused trying to figure out half steps and frets. I began tripping all over my music theory and then my brain began to shut down. I tried to keep trying, but eventually just gave up. I couldn’t take anymore G#m9/F# chords. Where the hell does one’s fingers go on such a chord anyway?

After a good night’s sleep, I was ready to try and tackle things again and figure out an easy way for me to fret these chords. Armed with my now cold dregs of a hazelnut latte by my side, I borrowed the Redeye’s wireless and found some websites that talk about capo-ing. It was awful confusing and I kept thinking I was doing it backwards, but I think I’ve got it down. I think I might be able to play these songs now, in more bearable chord forms for me. I’ll find out tonight when I actually pick up my guitar and attempt to play with the recording.

So thanks for that answer to prayer, God, even if I groan and complain about how much I’m being stretched.