I know this blog was intended mainly to update people on the different types of mission work that Drew and I are involved in, but I had a thought for a blog that’s not exactly “mission work.” This blog is also serving to update you on our lives together, so I feel like this fits in just fine.
I sat down this morning with my Bible to attempt some quiet time. My devotional time has been a bit lacking as of late, and I’ve been attempting to rectify that. Plus, I have a friend (who is currently in Argentina teaching!) who has also been struggling with this same thing, and we made a pact to try to devote 15 minutes or so a day to devotional time. We’re going to keep each other accountable, even though we’re on separate continents at the moment. Since I wasn’t really feeling much like reading my Bible this morning, I suppose this revelation I’m about to share came out of that pact. So, thanks, Kathryn!
In the past, I’ve had Bible reading plans, which tell me what books and verses to read in the Bible. Or, maybe I’ll read through a particular book. I haven’t used anything like that lately, and some mornings I find myself flipping through randomly, trying to figure out what to read. I threw up a quick prayer to God about that this morning, wondering if I should be taking on some new Bible reading plan to motivate myself. This whole “read whatever you feel inspired to read” plan isn’t working so well for me some days. Drew talks often of a pastor that said something to the effect of: when you don’t know what to read, read Proverbs, and read the chapter that corresponds to the day of the month. Okay, so I flipped to Proverbs. I read chapter 30, which contains one of my favorite verses:
“…give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.” Proverbs 30:8-9
Looking around our meager yet comfortable and homey home, I’d say the Lord is answering that prayer. I have all that I need and I praise God for it.
Anyway, that’s not the big revelation I had this morning. Moving on…
I finished chapter 30, and then looked at 31. Since tomorrow is October 1, I figured I could go ahead and read 31 today. Chapter 31, of course, contains the infamous epilogue of the wife of noble character. I have read this many times in the past, but being a new wife, I thought it might be good to take another look at it. I’ve gleaned knowledge from it over the years, but as a single gal, it was always the, “I guess I might need this sometime in the future” sort of attitude. Any single person can relate to this. You read so many passages in Scripture relating to married people, and you wonder, “Where’s the stuff I can relate to?” All the married passages are a reminder of “the other side.”
Anyway, now that I’m on that “other side” I decided I should start looking at all these married passages in a new light. Now I can directly apply them to my life. So, I began to dive in. I bought a Greek/Hebrew study Bible a few years back, and I love it. I don’t always use it, but it’s so fun to me to be able to look at a couple verses and pick them to pieces. I love finding out the original meaning of the words, and it’s usually something that can’t quite be communicated in the few words they use in the translation. It gives the verse a whole new meaning, and to my overly emotional self, gives me a glimpse into what God is thinking.
So I looked up a few Hebrew words this morning. I didn’t make it past the first two verses, verses 10 and 11. I got sidetracked by the line: “Her husband has full confidence in her.” The phrase, “full confidence” comes from two Hebrew words. So I looked them up. The first is Batah, and it means “to attach oneself, trust, confide in, feel safe, be confident, secure. The basic idea signifies firmness or solidity.” I italicized the words that stuck out to me on my initial reading. The second Greek word from this phrase is Leb, and it means, “the heart, the center, the middle of something. The center of man’s inner or immaterial nature.”
So, my own definition of having full confidence means you feel safe and secure in the innermost part of you. As I contemplated this, it occurred to me how important this is in a marriage. How important is it to feel this way with your wife! I want Drew to always feel safe and secure with me. I want him to know that he can share his innermost parts with me. He can be vulnerable, and still be completely safe. I want to take those vulnerable parts and hold them close to me, close to us. I need him to know that I won’t tease him or belittle him or poke fun at these parts. I won’t share those parts with the rest of the world. I will keep those parts safe, in the innermost parts of me.
I’m discovering more and more how marriage is a mission field in and of itself. It takes lots of hard work and love and patience. Since I’m discovering all these new things, I guess I need to spend the better part of my life working on them.
Thanks for letting me ramble!
