So I have begun rifling through some old journals and I am trying to “relive” some old memories in an effort to write some type of book/memoir. Or at least some good blogs. I am choosing to focus on music and worship at the moment, so I am trying to pull together as many specific memories as I can on this topic. I have actually begun some writing on an early specific memory; my time in church as a young-un. I am starting with about as early as I can remember and trying to pull out as much detail as I possibly can. I have no journal entry from this particular memory, so I’m relying solely on my brain and what details I can dig out. I’m sure some of it is fluff, but hey, isn’t that what great writing is made of?

One thing that I’m discovering is actually a big challenge is deciding what verb tense to go with. I started with present tense, as I thought it would draw the reader in and make it more like it’s happening right now. But I’m finding it’s difficult to write in present tense (my brain automatically goes to past), and I think most memoirs are in past tense, so the writer can reflect back on the memory. If I’m writing about 4 year old me in present tense, should I use 4 year old words? It sort of sounds a bit funny using these big detailed words when I’m speaking from the point of view of a young child. So I thought maybe I should try both present and past and see which works best. Here’s what I’ve got:

Present tense:

With growing boredom, I slump down into the hard pew and stare at the tiny pencils and prayer cards in front of me. I breathe out a silent sigh of frustration, knowing I will chance a dirty look from Mom if I let it out loud.  My sister sits next to me, slightly less fidgety than me. I try to pay attention to the words the man in front is saying, but they make no sense. Words like salvation and repentance mean nothing to my four year old brain.

Finally, he asks us to turn to page 143 in our hymnals. I jump up eagerly, knowing the service is drawing to a close. I stand on tiptoe next to my mother, and peer intently at the Methodist hymnal in her hand. The organ plays some long, loud tones and I look around, wondering what is coming next. Everyone around me begins singing in unison, and I listen in awe. All I can see are strange black lines and markings on the page before me. It’s like some strange code that everyone knows but me. I stare more intently, hoping that the unfamiliar markings will begin to make sense and I will be able to join in. No matter how hard I focus on the hymnal, it doesn’t become any clearer. I simply listen to the angelic voices around me. There is an awe that seems to fall upon the room. I watch the faces as they sing. The women are smiling, as though at peace with the world.

Past tense:

With growing boredom, I slumped down into the hard pew and stared at the tiny pencils and prayer cards in front of me. I breathed out a silent sigh of frustration, knowing I would chance a dirty look from Mom if I let it out loud.  My sister sat next to me, slightly less fidgety than me. I tried to pay attention to the words the man in front is saying, but they make no sense. Words like salvation and repentance mean nothing to my four year old brain.

Finally, he asked us to turn to page 143 in our hymnals. I jumped up eagerly, knowing the service was drawing to a close. I stood on tiptoe next to my mother, and peered intently at the Methodist hymnal in her hand. The organ played some long, loud tones and I looked around, wondering what was coming next. Everyone around me began singing in unison, and I listened in awe. All I can see are strange black lines and markings on the page before me. It’s like some strange code that everyone knows but me. I stared more intently, hoping that the unfamiliar markings would begin to make sense and I would be able to join in. No matter how hard I focused on the hymnal, it doesn’t become any clearer. I simply listened to the angelic voices around me. There was an awe that seemed to fall upon the room. I watched the faces as they sing. The women were smiling, as though at peace with the world.

Now, I don’t know how good an example that is, as I simply took the same passage and flipped the verb tenses. Since I wrote the passage initially to be in present tense, it sounds funny to flip the verb tenses; like it just doesn’t quite fit. Perhaps I should rewrite it specifically for past tense. And maybe write a passage in four-year-old speak, with simple words and short phrases.

But it’s a start. Any thoughts?