Jamie

...now browsing by category

Jamie’s Thoughts

 

Derek Webb

Saturday, March 12th, 2011

Drew wanted to surprise me with an outing this past Friday night, but I guessed what it was in two seconds.

With his typical sly grin, Drew asked if I had anything planned for Friday. I responded no, and he said, “I think I’ll surprise you.” His eye twinkled in his devious little way.

Without skipping a beat, I responded, “Derek Webb in Jacksonville?”

“Damnit!” The twinkle disappeared.

He teased me that he wasn’t going to take me since I had ruined the surprise, but I begged and gave him the puppy dog eyes and he bought tickets anyway. (I don’t think the puppy dog eyes had anything to do with him buying tickets. I’ve tried, and he’s pretty much immune. Darn.)

A little after five last night, we were on the interstate heading to Jax. We were going to be a little late, but there were two opening acts, so we weren’t too concerned. All was going great and we were making good time until we hit construction about five minutes from our destination. SO frustrating. Our five minutes turned into about thirty. Our plans on being a little late turned into an hour late. Luckily, we didn’t miss much. I think Derek was on his first or second song, so we caught most of it.

I’ve been a fan of Derek Webb for about fourteen years. I began listening to him back in the day when he was a member of Caedmon’s Call. He went solo about ten years ago. He’s an acoustic guitar playing, folk-y, clever lyric writing kind of musician. I love him. He played stuff from his newest album, Stockholm Syndrome (which I bought at the merch table),

as well as stuff from his older solo albums

and classic stuff from his time with Caedmon’s Call.

I always enjoy hearing the new stuff from musicians. It’s great to hear fresh stuff and see what creative direction they’re going in now. But I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed hearing the old stuff again. Often, when I hear music that I enjoyed years ago, I’ll listen and think, “Wow, this is lame. Why did I ever listen to this?” It’s never that way with Caedmon’s or Derek Webb. The lyrics are still as fresh and inspired as the first time I heard them. And I often get something completely new and different from it.

We stood to the left side of the stage in the renovated movie theatre turned concert venue. When I grew tired of standing, I sat on the stained commercial carpet and softly sang along to old memories. I was surprised at the emotions evoked when he sang his ballad to singles everywhere, Table For Two. I was transported back to my single days of anxiously awaiting my hubby to be. I resisted the urge to hug the legs of my husband standing behind me.

The concert greatly encouraged me. Being a Christian singer/songwriter, many of his songs are of a spiritual nature. I was encouraged as he sang some of my old, forgotten favorites. As he sang “Broken Heart,” I was reminded how much the lyrics convict me.

I’ve got faith in the bank
And money in my heart
I’ve got a callous place where your ring used to be, my love

I’ve traded naked and unashamed
For a better place to hide
For a righteous mask, a suit of fig leaves and lies

…And now I want a broken heart.

The thing I love most about Derek is that he is not the typical “fluff” Christian songwriter. He isn’t afraid to tackle tough social and political issues and write some extremely challenging lyrics. I grow tired of the same old formula for songwriting on Christian radio and I find his style of writing refreshing. It seems much of his newer stuff is getting more and more controversial. I think I read somewhere that someone walked out of one of his concerts because they were offended. Awesome.

I was also encouraged as I watched him share the songs and stories from twenty years of writing music. Just hours before, before we’d hit the road, I had been rummaging through my bin of journals. In the bottom of the bin was a file folder labeled, “Song lyrics and ideas.” In it were pages and pages of snippets of lyrics and attempts at song writing. Some pathetic, and some not so bad. The desire to song-write has been rekindled. We’ll see where it goes.

And sadly, though he was taking requests and someone shouted out “Better Than Wine,” he did not play it. Sorry, Em.

Changes in life

Wednesday, March 9th, 2011

My boss turned in her resignation last week. She and her newly married husband are taking a leap of faith and moving to North Georgia. They leave at the end of the month. They are moving to a house (or perhaps cabin) in the mountains that will need lots of fixing up on a lot of land that they hope to do farming on. There’s a stream running through the property. From her description, it sounds beautiful.

I am so excited for her, but it leaves me in a not great situation. It leaves her position wide open, which I am more than welcome to take. I believe I have proved myself hard-working, dependable, and responsible in my two years with this company and I know that I could do her job. However, after prayer and late night conversations with the hubby, I opted not to take it. I have had some frustrations at my work lately (I wrote about that in another post that I have been hesitant to post, but perhaps I will soon) and just decided that more work, more responsibility, and more hours would not help my general sanity at this point in life. More money would be wonderful, and I have doubted my decision on several occasions, wondering if I’m being selfish by not contributing more to the household income. My sweet hubby responded by saying something to the effect of, “Did I ever say anything about you needing to take this job?” He agreed that a more stressed out me was just not worth it.

My current job situation, although lacking in the salary department, offers me much flexibility. I work 30 hours (still considered full time in my company… it’s great) which offers me some time to be the housewife that I so desire to be. I like having extra time to clean house, prepare dinner, grocery shop, coupon, and all those other wifely duties. I like to be home and spend quality time with my husband. Were I to work the extra 10 hours a week and be more committed to the work place, I would not have the luxury of being home as much as I would like. The extra money is just not worth it.

Since making the decision to not take the job, I decided I needed to make some changes in my time management. There are a lot of things that I have been wanting to pursue more lately in my spare time, and these might possibly mean bringing some extra money into the household. I have said continually that I want to pursue my music more. There have been several opportunities throughout my life where I have sung at weddings, funerals, or other social events. Vocalists get a good bit of money for these types of things. My goal is to get myself out there more and try to pick up a few more “gigs.” My hubby offered to help put together a website of sorts to help advertise, with rates and recordings. Hopefully that will be up and running soon. In conjunction with this, I am trying to be more diligent about practicing guitar. I am finding it is beneficial to be able to accompany yourself. Having gotten over my fear of playing in front of people, I am now confident in being able to play while singing.

The other thing I am trying to be more diligent in is my writing. I have had a “book” in my head for some time, and I am just now pulling the mesh of ideas out of my head and into an organized structure onto paper (or computer screen). I don’t know what the end result of this will be, but I feel strongly that it needs to be written. I made a decision this week that I am going to actually get myself up earlier than I need to be so I can spend some time writing. This actually became my choice of what to give up for Lent. I am giving up lazily lying in bed as long as I can. It’s time to be more productive.

Although I don’t know what the next month or so is going to hold, I am trying to be as optimistic as possible. Instead of moping around about changes that I am not crazy about (I am nervous that I will end up with a bad boss), I am choosing to just move forward. I have a feeling there’s going to be some good things up ahead.

Playing with aperture

Saturday, March 5th, 2011

The grass under our bird feeder. Well fertilized. Taken with high aperture.

Yes, we need to mow our lawn. Taken with low aperture.

Blurred background; high aperture.

Background in focus. Low aperture.

High aperture.

Low aperture.

More memoir: high school

Thursday, March 3rd, 2011

Standing on stage, my heart pounds so hard it just might jump out of my chest. I can think only one thing: “Keep breathing, keep breathing…” The microphone in my hand is clutched so tightly my knuckles are white.

For weeks, Lauren and I have been scouring over the sheet music to I Still Believe from Miss Saigon. Working with her voice teacher, we’ve received guidance on rhythm, melody, dynamics, and stage presence. We are both into our respective parts, almost feeling as if we are the characters. I am ready… I think.

A few feet away, Lauren stands. In the spotlight, microphone in hand, she sings her solo part with all the dramatics her 16 year-old body can muster. In just a few more measures, my part will begin. I begin to wonder why I agreed to this. I don’t dare look out at the audience, as the hundreds of people might just make me faint.

Lauren finishes her part, the spotlight comes up on my side of the stage, and I look up from my clenched hands, trying to act as dramatic as possible. Luckily, the spotlight is so bright I cannot see more than three feet in front of me. I take one more deep breath and begin to sing my very first solo.

The first few notes are shaky as I try to convince my voice it’s okay to be heard. Knots begin to untie in my stomach and I release some tension from my shoulders. My voice becomes stronger with each passing phrase and I almost forget about the hundreds of people in front of me.

Lauren comes in for our duet, and we both sing with all we’ve got. We crescendo through the climax of the song, and hold out our last note with every ounce of energy we have left. The applause rings in our ears and the curtain drops as we race to each other and bounce up and down, squealing in high school girl delight.

What a rush.

(Thanks for the memory, Lauren!)