This week features my first guest post on Clothe Your Neighbor As Yourself‘s blog. Check it out!
Jamie
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Jamie’s Thoughts
Guest Post
Wednesday, July 6th, 2011Songwriting
Sunday, July 3rd, 2011I am currently in pursuit of my dream and passion. Or perhaps I’m really more in pursuit of how to pursue my dream and passion. I’m feeling kind of clueless at the moment.
On Friday night, Drew and I went out to Bird’s to see two good friends play with a great singer/songwriter. Bird’s is a hole in the wall restaurant and bar with the best burger in town. We walked in the door and I was immediately greeted by my friend Anna as she gave me a big bear hug. We caught up briefly with her and our other friend Justin, and then found a seat at the bar. Drew ordered a pitcher of Yuengling and we settled in as the show began.
Bird’s is a small restaurant with a small stage. The three of them crammed together and after a quick sound check, played through some of their songs. Kris Braun is an acoustic singer/songwriter. Right up my alley. With a little djembe and electric guitar backing her up, it’s a great sound.
As they began to play, I noticed that barely anyone was really listening. There was a small crowd, all enjoying their burgers, oysters and beers. They’d politely clap and cheer between songs, but then go right back to their conversations when the next song began. I watched as they played, and felt bad that their hard work and practice wasn’t being met with more enthusiasm.
It makes me wonder… if I want to be a singer/songwriter, am I willing to do the bar gig? I’ve never been much into bars and such places, and honestly, I’m not much of a night owl. I start crashing at about 9:30 p.m. With most of these gigs not starting until at least 10 p.m. I think I’d be yawning throughout my entire set.
So what the heck do I do with this dream and passion? Right now I’m just trying to take it one step at a time. Writing lyrics and poetry, practicing guitar, and overall trying to improve my musicality. Perhaps I should attempt to write a few songs first and then we’ll take it from there.
Feeling much better
Friday, July 1st, 2011For those that may have been concerned, I am feeling much better now. I guess my hormones decided to go back into hiding for now, and I feel human again. No more despondency and pitifulness. Phew. Armed with a cup of coffee on a Friday morning and heading into a three day weekend, it’s hard to see how I couldn’t be feeling better though. We’ll see how I am on Tuesday morning.
I am trying to get myself back into writing mode again. Along with that pitiful mood came a case of writer’s block. Last weekend, I was by myself, as Drew was off for a guy’s weekend/poker game where he won lots of money. I thought that maybe I could snuggle into my wonderful couch and get some writing done, but sadly, no inspiration struck. I know I often have to push through, but it seemed no amount of pushing got me anywhere last weekend. It seemed all I wanted to do was scrapbook and watch movies. I did end up being pretty productive, and got several pages knocked out in my wedding scrapbook.
My goal is to get myself up early again and try to spend about thirty minutes to an hour doing quality writing. By quality, I don’t necessarily mean good, but a good effort. My “memoir” has made some progress, and I’m hoping to keep the momentum going. I shared it with Drew while we were holed away in our mountain retreat, and I was expecting brutal honest feedback (we expect nothing less from each other). All he said was that I was off to a really good start and needed to keep going. He was impressed at the amount of writing I had done and encouraged me to continue writing the memories I had. I know he will offer more brutal editing advice when I get to the editing stage, but he knows I’m still on the get it onto paper mode. So I will continue to write. Or at least try to.
I also was hoping to get some “quality” blogs up over the weekend. My first guest post on Clothe Your Neighbor As Yourself should be up on Monday, and I think there will be a link to this blog from that blog. I might have some increased traffic, and I was thinking I should have something of substance blogged. If not, oh well. This is all me, whether they like it or not.
Overwhelmed
Tuesday, June 28th, 2011I don’t know why, but I am simply feeling overwhelmed lately. I feel mopey, moody, and hopeless. There are no reasons for this, really. I’m healthy, have an incredible marriage, a beautiful home, and a kitchen full of food. What’s up with the sadness?
I am fairly certain it’s just hormones. My cycle seems to be slightly off whack this month, which is enough to throw any woman into a tizzy. But when you’re a woman in the midst of raging hormones, it’s hardly any consolation. I almost feel guilty after reading my dear friend’s blog post this morning. She’s dealing with some major life changes and hardships, and I’m complaining about my cycle? Get a grip.
And yet, I know even that dear friend struggling with major issues would be sympathetic toward my mood swings. For whatever reason I’m feeling sad, and just because it’s not due to some major issue does not mean it’s trivial. It’s been hard for me to get out of bed this week, and getting to work has been extra strenuous (knowing that I got screwed out of vacation time is also not helping. My company told me I had to use more time than I actually needed to by the end of the month, thus leaving me with basically NO vacation time accrued. Not cool). I have not had much energy for much of anything and feel like I’m just going through the motions.
But I know that this too shall pass. It’s a funk, and they happen now and again. I will finish my coffee (always a mood lifter), take a glorious hot shower, make myself eat breakfast (my appetite always seems to go when I’m in funks), and go to work, doing the best job I can. Tonight I will come home and spend some girl time scrap-booking with a good girlfriend. I tend to want to isolate when I’m in bad moods, and I’m always surprised at how much better I feel when I spend quality time with friends.
I’m even feeling a bit better having written this. Sometimes just sharing the “overwhelmingness” releases some of it’s power. I will not let it consume me, and I will live. Thanks for letting me share.