Jamie

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Jamie’s Thoughts

 

Memories

Tuesday, July 12th, 2011

It’s funny to me what little things trigger random memories for me.

I took a walk this morning, my second walk this week. I’m doing good since it’s only Tuesday. I’m enjoying the “crisp” (albeit muggy) summer Florida mornings. I normally just take a walk around the block, I’m guessing a little less than a mile. I enjoy walking my neighborhood because of the many trees surrounding and the variety of houses in my subdivision. (I wrote about that here.)

Sometimes I get so used to doing things the usual way that I don’t usually stray from that. There is some comfort in normalcy, but sometimes I think I need to mix things up a bit, even in simple things like my walks. There are other roads and routes to explore, and I rarely seem to try. This morning I did.

There’s a park within a block of my house. It’s got a playground (perfect for visiting nephews), picnic tables, big fields, and a baseball diamond. I’ve explored it before, and shortly after moving in, Drew and I took a stroll down there one evening and enjoyed the swings. But other than that, I usually just walk right by it. This morning, I didn’t.

It was quiet this morning, as I guess most people aren’t running to go sliding or play baseball at 7 in the morning. Birds were chirping and crows were squawking. I walked by the quiet playground and onto the dewey grass. A quaint little bridge crosses over a waterless stream. Something that cute just beckons me, so I walked over it, right through a spider web. (And it struck me as I hit it… we get so annoyed by that, but I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the poor spider whose hard work had just been destroyed. But I digress…) I continued to walk through the field, over to a bunch of trees. There was a small trail that led through the trees, and things like that beckon me as well. I walked through the trees, destroyed more spiders’ hard work, and emerged on the other side facing the baseball diamond. I traipsed back up the field toward the playground and the exit.

There’s not much to the park and not much else to explore. But as I walked through the field and felt the dew seeping through my sneakers and getting my pant leg wet, for some reason I was taken back to tour. Now, it might simply be that my brain is tour oriented right now as I’m reading through old tour journals (AND I got a stack of letters from my kids yesterday! Yay!). But in that particular moment, I was taken back to my many morning walks I took while on tour. I stayed with diverse host families in various neighborhoods, and I would try to walk in as many as I could. New places to explore (and get lost). New sights and sounds. Early morning quiet. Peacefulness. It helped my crazy, frantic tour life to have a few moments where I could take some deep breaths.

It was kind of nice to reminisce on that.

Tour life

Monday, July 11th, 2011

I’m continuing to read through old journals for writing inspiration. I am currently in the midst of my many journals written during my time on tour with the African Children’s Choir. It’s fun to reminisce back to that time. There are some things I really miss about tour. And some things I really don’t.

What I miss about tour

– My kids. Getting 25 hugs is a great way to start your day.

– Comradeship with my fellow chaperones.

– Meeting really cool host families and getting the chance to see life really lived in different cities/states/countries.

– Cool and exciting opportunities, like recording with big name musicians and having the chance to appear on big shows like Jay Leno.

– Days off in new and (sometimes) exciting places. Always something new to explore.

– The feeling that I was doing something really big and truly making a difference in people’s lives.

What I DON’T miss about tour

– The constant feeling of exhaustion from being on the go all the time.

– Being “on” all the time. Fake, professional smile plastered across my face.

– Answering the same questions three to four times a week (“I decided to tour with the choir after seeing them perform at my church. I was really impacted by their ministry…”)

– Four different beds a week. And not all of them comfy.

– Life out of a suitcase. The same four shirts get old after six months.

Writer’s block

Friday, July 8th, 2011

Sometimes I think I simply lack self discipline. I have a goal in mind (book to write) and a plan to go about it (write as many musically oriented memories as you can remember and we’ll go from there) and I still can’t seem to get it going.

I know I just need to DO it. Get myself up earlier; spend a little time doing some writing exercises to get my brain going; keep scouring through old journals for ideas; and then just WRITE.

Why do stress and work issues and sleep deprivation take so much from me? It all snowballs. One bad night of sleep turns into two and then all the bad things from one day of work seem so monumental, and before I know it, I’m cowering under the covers, begging for just a few more minutes of comfort and coziness.

And there goes one more morning of good quality writing.

Not entirely sure how to get out of this rut, but I will keep trying.

Better than TV

Wednesday, July 6th, 2011

In my attempts to write more/pursue music more/sleep better, I am trying hard not to turn on the TV. It is so easy to turn that thing on and get sucked in for hours. Next thing I know, it’s 11:00 and I’m a total zombie.

I love a good movie and there are a few shows I enjoy watching (Drew and I enjoy a good episode of Modern Family and have recently discovered Wilfred, a rather clever comedy on FX. Plus, I have to confess I’m totally hooked on the teenage drama Pretty Little Liars. I’m pathetic, I know) but sometimes I just watch TV because I have no energy to do anything else. I finish the evening wondering why I feel totally drained and uninspired.

I’m trying to resist the urge to get glued to the boob tube and instead spend time reading, writing, practicing guitar (totally slacking on this lately), exercising, or doing something creative. Something that allows me to feel filled up rather than drained.This evening, I found myself totally wiped out after dinner (and a good Wii workout… that thing probably warrants a post all it’s own) and really wanted to turn on the TV. But I didn’t. I chose instead to sit out on our porch and read and write a bit. And although my ankles are getting eaten by who knows what, it’s been relaxing. Drew even joined me for a bit.

I’m hoping I can keep this up.