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If life were like a musical

Saturday, July 31st, 2010

This is a post I started a couple weeks ago after watching a high school musical. I love musicals, and am always amused at spontaneous song and how far from reality they really are. I started thinking… what if life were like a musical?

– Feeling down? Let’s sing a song! We’ll pull it out of thin air and it’ll rhyme and everything!

– Everyone would sound so witty. With life scripted, we’d all come up with good comebacks and great jokes. No more, “I should have said THAT!” two hours later.

– Nothing wraps a day up better than a choreographed number. How much more fun would life be if we all just broke into spontaneous song and dance? Who knows how all of us know each step? Just jump on in!

– We’d all know how to sing and dance. No off key people in a musical world… sheer bliss. No two left feet. We’re all in rhythm.

– We’d have really fun clothes. And crazy makeup.

– We’d know what everyone else was thinking/feeling. With all the overacting, there’s no way to not know.

– Life would be easier. Everything has to be wrapped up in about 2 1/2 hours. No loose ends, closure where needed, and always a happy ending.

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Worship in unexpected places

Monday, July 26th, 2010

I have struggled in worship at church lately, for various reasons. It seems the littlest things will tear me out of the mode of worship. A typo on the powerpoint slide (Really? Could no one take a moment out of their crazy, insane Sunday morning and change that your to you’re?), the babbling child behind me (We do have a nursery, y’know), even the person a few rows up with their hands raised to the heavens (Down in front! You’re blocking the powerpoint typos!). It’s truly frustrating, as worship through music has always been a powerful thing for me. I’m sure some would say something spiritual like Satan is trying to stand between me and Jesus. I think it’s just me, really.

I went to a wedding this past weekend, and was pleasantly surprised to find Jesus waiting there for me. The ceremony was a true worship service. It was largely an Anglican service (with some Presbyterian intermixed) which meant it was long. I think some were shifting uncomfortably in their seats with each passing minute (especially the teenager sitting next to me), but I loved every minute. I love wedding ceremonies that are packed with meaning. Not just aimless words or painful vows written by the bride and groom, but real meaning. This one had meaning all throughout. It had all the traditional wedding ceremony elements (“Dearly beloved…” “…in sickness and in health…”) but it was also laced with Scripture (and NOT 1 Corinthians 13! Woo hoo!), hymns, and meaningful prayers. I know that many people are not hymn fans,but I really do have a love for them. Maybe it’s because it’s what I grew up with. Before powerpoint slides and big projectors, we actually used the hymnals in the pews. I used to open the book and wonder what all the black markings meant, and marveled at the fact that everyone else around me seemed to know how to read these strange markings. As I began to devote a large part of my life to learning these strange markings, hymns became very special. At the wedding, the bride walked down the aisle to Be Thou My Vision (very cool) and later we sang And Can It Be, Holy Holy Holy, and It is Well With My Soul. As we sang, I just relaxed and worshipped.

One thing that caught me by surprise was that we were singing hymns during communion. What caught me by surprise was the fact that I didn’t mind it. One of my biggest worship pet peeves has become singing during communion. Mainly because I’m trying to pray and prepare myself for this holy sacrament. When vocals begin, I can now only focus on the words being sung and not the words I was trying to pray through in my head. There have been many times where I have thrown up my hands in frustration and not taken communion, because I can’t focus, and I don’t feel ready to accept the elements. And I don’t take that lightly. If I am not in the right place, it is not my place to take communion. For some reason at this wedding, the singing didn’t bother me. I think it’s because there was plenty of quiet time before that, as the minister prepared the elements. In the bulletin, it even says: “The Celebrant breaks the consecrated Bread. A period of silence is kept.” I had some quiet time and time to prepare myself, so the singing while the 200 people there came forward for communion wasn’t nearly as distracting.

I was also blessed by the prayers throughout the service as well. There was a series of prayers that was prayed over the newly married couple. I was touched by them.

Give them wisdom and devotion in the ordering of their common life, that each may be to the other a strength in need, a counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion in joy. Amen.

Give them grace, when they hurt each other, to recognize and acknowledge their fault, and to seek each other’s forgiveness and yours. Amen.

Give them such fulfillment of their mutual affection that they may reach out in love and concern for others. Amen.

Grant that all married persons who have witnessed these vows may find their lives strengthened and their loyalties confirmed. Amen.

Throughout all my worship struggles, I’m thankful that God will still meet me, even when I’m not expecting it.

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Goal accomplished

Monday, June 28th, 2010

As a musician, I have set goals for myself. One of my goals that I set years ago was to learn guitar and be able to play well enough to accompany myself. I think I can finally cross that off the list.

I was asked by a co-worker if I would sing a song at her son’s wedding. I agreed, as singing at weddings is something that I would like to do more often, to make a little extra money. I came up with a list of songs and played them for her, and she chose her favorite. I then discovered that there would be no pianist and no instrumentalists at all, simply a D.J. playing recordings of their selected songs. Which meant I had two choices… accompany myself or sing with a track (shudder).

Although I used to sing with tracks often, doing it now feels like karaoke. There are so many gifted musicians out there, so why use a cheesy track? I think live musicians are so much nicer than a canned track.  I probably could have easily found a friend who would have been more than willing to come accompany me, but decided I wanted to push myself musically and try accompanying myself. Plus, I would have had to split the money, and I’m feeling a little broke lately.

So I set about learning the accompaniment part myself. I soon learned that she had chosen probably the hardest song as far as accompaniment went. I discovered there were three key changes, and many chords that my tiny, clumsy hands simply could not accomplish. Rather than give up and go find the accompaniment track, I worked at it, and transposed the first part to my favorite key, D. I then discovered that the song eventually changed to the key of D, so that made the rest of it easy. I typed out my simplified accompaniment, and then practiced it. It wasn’t as hard as I initially thought it might be. It was simplified, but it worked.

I arrived at the wedding this past weekend, and pulled out my guitar and got set up. I was nervous, and afraid that my fingers wouldn’t work like they should. Luckily, they did work. I think my weekly sing a-longs with my residents at work has helped me build up more confidence on guitar. There were a couple places where a chord didn’t ring out as much as it should have, but I kept going, and knew that the majority of the people there would not notice.

I received compliments after the ceremony, many telling me that the song was beautiful and had made them cry. I was expecting those compliments. The ones I was not expecting were the, “Nice guitar playing!” from people as they passed me. For some reason, I always feel the need to say things like, “I’m not that good on guitar,” or “I’m a better vocalist than a guitarist,” to cover up any little flubs that might happen. For some reason, I find it extremely hard to believe that someone might actually enjoy my guitar playing.

I had found myself hoping there would be no guitarists in the audience. Of course there was, and of course I met him afterwards. But even he had kind words to say. I’m sure he caught the flubs and mis-fingerings, but I’m sure he also understands the pressure of performing.

Now my goal is to stop trying to “cover up” for my not great guitar playing and instead accept the compliments as encouragement for accomplishing my goal.

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Saying goodbye to music lessons

Wednesday, May 19th, 2010

While attending college, I often received the same question from many people:

“What’s your major?”

When I responded, “Music,” the follow up question was usually the same.

“Are you going to teach?”

For so many, this is the only logical career choice for music. I suppose this is the same for many areas of study, such as English or history. I would hate being asked this question, because teaching was just about the furthest thing from my mind. I wasn’t entirely sure of my career choice at the time; I just knew I wanted to do something in music, and I eventually settled on a Church Music certificate to go with my BA in music. Although that certificate hasn’t proved entirely useful, a diploma in Music from Florida State University has. That paper is proudly on display in my music room.

Since graduating, finding a career has been a tricky thing. I ended up spending three years volunteering, luckily using some of the skills I acquired during my time at FSU. And what did I do? I was a music teacher for a bunch of African kiddos. Since I was combining it with my love of mission work, it didn’t feel so much like teaching. It was more an incredible opportunity.

Coming off that whirlwind experience, I came home and got the job that any aspiring musician would get: barista. I spent a wonderful year and a half making frothy lattes, and to supplement my income, I took another job as, guess what??? A music teacher! So much for not teaching…

It truly does seem that the only way to make any money as a musician is by teaching others. I resigned myself to that, and began giving guitar lessons to young children at a local music school. I began to get into it, and even learned some about guitar along the way. I have found that I am a good teacher. I discovered ways to explain musical concepts to children, and creative approaches to reinforce those concepts. One of my students is quite a budding composer, and grasped the concept of matching a melody (that he had written) with chords rather quickly. He’ll be performing his debut piece this Sunday at his recital. I’m quite proud.

However, as much as I grew into the role of teacher, I think I began to grow out of it. When I took a new job at a retirement community, I found I had less and less time to devote to coming up with creative teaching techniques. Although the extra money was nice, the time spent traveling across town two days a week for lessons was starting to take a toll. With less and less energy, I felt that my students weren’t receiving the attention that they deserved for their blossoming musical talents. After a talk with Drew and a look over our budget, we decided that the time had come to wrap up the music lessons. After next week, I will be a music teacher no more.

I am a bit sad about it, especially after two very successful lessons this week. But I am thankful for the extra time I will have, to devote more to housework and meal planning, and hopefully loving on my husband a bit more. I hope to also give more energy and brain power to my day job.

Perhaps with more spare time, I will be able to develop other aspects of my musicality, such as performance, and perhaps songwriting, a craft I’ve dabbled in and always wanted to pursue more. Stay tuned…

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